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Power outage...

At about 10pm I guess the winds knocked the power out at the dorms on Travis. The power stayed off until 130am.

Anyway, I wasn't ready to sleep at 10pm. So, I went outside to see what all would be going on, since some other dorms had their fire alarms also going off.

I see all these people in groups talking, listening to music from their cars, in groups smoking... running around with their Lackland Lasers.... and it kinda got me down...

Back a few years ago, Colby, Aaron, Chewie, and others would have gotten together and been the rowdiest ones.... Now, colby and Aaron are in Germany, and Chewie is on temporary duty... and event when he gets back he is just going to move to England.

I don't socialize with most people here because I don't like most people here. All they want to do is drink and fuck around. I used to drink with the guys all the time, but we did it as a social thing, sitting around and having fun, not breaking windows or driving drunk.

On top of it, that stupid knowledge of "this shit is going to last until they say so" kills me. I have no friends here. I have no future here. This place is a fucking black hole that swallows people whole and gives them no better choice but to stay in the military because you don't know anything else.

I know something else... and it kills me that people who don't are going to be the ones holding me back from having a better life than this. Keeping me in a stale cookie jar to wait until they lift the lid and let me out.

Every time I shave before work I'm bitter.
Every time I get a hair cut I mumble curses.

My military experience does not reflect anyone elses. Its a very fine institution for some people... but I'm done. I'm sick of it, and what makes it worse... is that my 4 years aren't up yet. I still have a few months to go. Yet, everyday is like punishment. the Montgomery GI bill wasn't worth it.

I'm going to be one broke mother fucker once I get out of the service.
.......
4 more months of BS until my DOS (date of separation)
and there is the possibility there may be more.

One of these days.... it is very possible I'm not going to be able to take anymore and crack. There have been a few days already where I was on the brink... but didn't crack...

I've got things to do....

Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
plastiquefille
Mar. 1st, 2002 03:26 pm (UTC)
::hugs mr joe::


awwww i sort of know how you feel.
but im not in the military. but i know
from what you have told me it sucks...

4 months my friend just 4 more months.

and if you need someone to cheer you at times
you get on yahoo and ill make you laugh.
or try.

but really, what youre doing takes guts. i probably
wouldnt last in there a month. so Hooray for you Hooray
joe_black
Mar. 1st, 2002 07:33 pm (UTC)
Re:
:)


just one of my moods...

thanks.

::hugs back::

I hope 4 months!
alexgal
Mar. 1st, 2002 04:32 pm (UTC)
I wholeheartedly admire anyone who's been in the army because it takes guts and discipline. All of my friends back home have served in the military for 26 months right after graduating for highschool (it is mandatory). Most of them loathe those couple of years, they think it was a waste of time, they think that it was an impediment in their intellectual or otherwise growth. But at some level they all acknowledge that the process helped them mature, that the army community and culture taught them a lot. I am glad that as a female Cypriot I am exempt from serving in the army. I would never volunteer for such a cause. But after hearing so much about it I have gained a lot of respect for anyone who endured that experience.

The four months will pass...And you will pursue your dreams through film school or which ever other route and actualize all of your potential. There is so much out there, all you need is a bit more patience...
joe_black
Mar. 1st, 2002 07:36 pm (UTC)
Re:
Thanks!

Yes, military is good for maturation. I definately gained much there.

:)

and after four months I just pray I will be continueing that pursuit instead of sitting on my heals.
covalence
Mar. 2nd, 2002 06:23 am (UTC)
Doing a Happy dance
Joe go to Apple's site and click ITools sign up and recive 20 megs of web hosting joy for free... however this only works with a Mac. Hope you like that ... I get alot of time to read explore here... wait till you see what I'm going to do with the mac when I get home... Here's an idea of what I'll start with http://www.appleskinz.com
joe_black
Mar. 2nd, 2002 03:29 pm (UTC)
Re: Doing a Happy dance
I have that 20 megs of space already... just haven't taken advantage of it yet.
technojunkie
Mar. 2nd, 2002 09:02 am (UTC)
...
Hang in there, Joe. If they don't let you out... We'll come and bust ya out!

Or something...
joe_black
Mar. 2nd, 2002 03:32 pm (UTC)
Re: ...
LOL!

hehehe...

Or something...

:)
technojunkie
Mar. 2nd, 2002 05:12 pm (UTC)
Re: ...
I figured it might be hard to bust you out of a military camp. I lived close to Navy Base when I lived in Lemoore California. Those things are built like... well... military bases!

Glad you liked the joke.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )