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I think...

I'm really acknowledging the fact that I MISS BEING IN THEATER PRODUCTIONS something fierce. I have a dream, at least one a year, of me in my ole High School and in the Auditorium watching the current acting group practicing. This morning it was just me sitting there watching them, with a huge eating feeling in my stomach of wanting nothing more to jump up on stage and join in. That, or beg the director to let me do it! But, I just sat there... in agony...

At least in the other dreams I had my moments. Last year, I think, it was when I had my dream that I begged the director to do my musical. He called my bluff, I didn't have one, so I did one anyway. I ran up on stage and music came from nowhere... just a piano at first and me kinda shaky... then it grew as the words came easier, and more instruments joined in... and the other people could feel it too... Suddenly at the biggest part of the song, everyone joined in and upstaged me.... and I walked off stage watching... kinda sad that I was excluded... (I remember that idea for a musical and still have it outlined somewhere)

I miss it so much.... I did a speech in Art History today. People joked with me that they are upset that I went so soon (second). They joked that they would have to bring pyrotechnics along to out do me. I'm a performing for fucking Christ sake... a performer stuck in a warehouse kicking boxes.

I love singing along to my Jekyll and Hyde CD.... I sang "This is the Moment" on the way back from school and did very well, the best accomplishment was hitting the end note, and holding it as long as the pro on the recording. Then "Alive!" tore the hell out of my voice... I love that song too.


and never apologize for your art.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 18th, 2001 10:28 pm (UTC)
mmm I miss musical theatre too.
Jul. 18th, 2001 11:52 pm (UTC)
i bet those were some of the greatest experiences of your life. you were made to act. my greatest memories of high school were playing in the high school band. i loved to perform with them, with my snare.
even to this day i have reocuring dreams of being with the band again. sometimes i am not allowed to play, but other times i manage to sneak in a few drum rolls.
i always wake from those dreams feeling depressed, for two reasons. 1. i can never get that beautiful time in my life back, 2. i never got to say goodbye to my band director or my drum instructor.
in the dreams i am either looking for them, or i find them and apologize.
Jul. 19th, 2001 10:01 pm (UTC)
I oddly enough don't dream about band a whole lot. I was in all that stuff too, Marching, Concert, Jazz Ensamble, Jazz Combo... and yet it doesn't pull on me as much as theater...

I have drempt of visiting Don, my band instructer, but he had to be the coolest and best music instructer I have ever had. (the school system let him walk away because they wouldn't do what he wanted with the band program - fuckers)
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )


Joe Black

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