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A notion

On my way to class today I was thinking....

My real purpose in doing this whole military BS was to get money for school, get education while in, then return to spot A and resume life. Well... spot A is in the past... and is not longer tangible. What I originally intended to do is impossible. Everything changes, has changed and will continue to change.

Then while taking a test in Astronomy (which I got a 96% on) I got that knot in my chest over the implications there-of not being able to return to "spot A". That after taking that test I'm another step further away from spot A, and passing it will take me even further....

When this is all said and done in a year... I'll be at spot B. What is spot B? I don't really know, but I have a good idea.

What would have been better? not doing this military BS and just going from spot A, or doing all this shit and being at spot B? Don't know... will never know.... because I've already made the choice over 3 years ago to travel to spot B, wether I knew it at the time or not.

I also think all the traffic lights in the local area are against me.

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
zanem
Jul. 10th, 2001 10:06 pm (UTC)
ROTC?
joe_black
Jul. 11th, 2001 07:33 am (UTC)
Re:
man, I wouldn't be able to do ROTC...

For me, it was All the way no nothing.
I'm active duty, Air Force... and I've got a year left on my enlistment.

Military is not my thing, and I'm getting out and going to college. Not that I don't prize my experience in the military, don't think that this was all for nought. I made a lot of good friends and saw a few interesting places.

I'm just too much of a free thinker for the military. Too many rules and too much BS.
zanem
Jul. 11th, 2001 10:57 am (UTC)
I see. I was under the impression you were in college. Definitely a good plan...save every dime. One good thing about the military - you can learn to live cheap, spartan.

I don't think the military is as closed as you perceive. You are simply seeing it from a particularly limited viewpoint. Remember the view later in your life, it may prove valuable.

But, you will always be a "little person" in the employable world until you get the degree.
joe_black
Jul. 12th, 2001 07:30 am (UTC)
Re:
its not only my perception, its about 80% of the people I work with perception as well. Of course, it is directly involved with the management of the squadron here... But hey, I even know of a Captain who is getting out because he is tired of "All the B.S. and the backstabbing"

But, yes... I have learned to live cheap.
zanem
Jul. 12th, 2001 05:06 pm (UTC)
Re:
Yes, but you are talking about people similar to you. Ask older non-military types if they've ever seen backstabbing or beauracracy.

I try to get guys to see the importance of th 4-8 years they've given for their country. In your first few years you cannot possibly understand the workings of hte machine - but neither do you need to. What is important is that you do your job well, and develop yourself. Try not to say anything negative to your younger (impressionalble) friends for the first year or so after you get out. Then goand find a friend who did not go the military route. Sit down & have a beer with him. Listen to how he thinks. You will then, hopefully, understand how vital your period of service was.
joe_black
Jul. 13th, 2001 11:49 am (UTC)
Re:
hey, I'm not saying I'm not important! I know how vital we all are to keep the system working. In fact we have a bunch of people leaving here REAL SOON and will probably be on 12 hour shifts until we can get more manning (which will probably take more than a year).... and by that time I will be out!

All of this time... when I went to Europe, Saudi.. I think that was increadibly valuable to me, and I know it is! I don't down play the military for everyone by any means! Its just not for me, its not helping me get to where I want to go in life.

I was also raised by a father who was a Marine in Vietnam. He made sure we, as his children, had every chance to take life and live it to the most possible extent, and to be a free thinker. I don't fit in a lot with these people here, I'm writing poetry and prose... doing music for fun... not a lot of people around here get that. They want to drink beer and soop up their cars, they are happy with where they are at... and I just want to move on.

My original post wasn't intended to be pessimistic or bad... it was a statement that I wasn't going to end up in the position I thought I would in the end. I'm a HELL of a lot more mature and have so many crutial experience behind me that I don't want to go back to that point A, I do want point B. It was just a shock at the point of realizing what had gone on in the past three years that I wont ever be that kid I was before I joined.
Nothing wrong with that.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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